Here is what I am doing during these holidays. Things have changed so much even since last year. Linda always loved the Christmas season...her very favorite. But now she can't stay connected with time enough to remember for long that it is that season.
So my image is that this season is now a string of pearls...mostly string but a few very valuable pearls. I think of those special moments when she connects with Christmas, her eyes light up at the beauty of the Christmas tree, she holds a grandchild and laughs, unwraps a present and gets excited at a new coloring book, puts on a down sleaveless jacket and wants to wear it all the time, sings an old Christmas carol from memory as we ride along in the car . These are the pearls on this season's neckless.
Our children and I decided that we would not pour lots of activities into any single day...just string out the season. In fact...we celebrated Friday night as Christmas Eve and Saturda as Christmas Day. Today, we will go to a Christmas Eve service at church. On the 25th we will have our son, daughter-in-law, and three little grandsons over for brunch...but gifts have already been exchanged.
I think it is working for her. But there is a sense of loss for me...giving up many traditions that had such meaning...replacing them with a new pattern for this year that works for us but is really different for me.
Much of Linda's presence in Advent is gone...but she is still present in many moments...and the presence of the Christ Child who is King is very real for me...this One we call Emmanuel . . God with us . . . and that is the deepest presence in this season.
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Today when you called to say you could not come over for black eyed peas because you were ill, I was so sad. I had really wanted to help you bring in the year 2007 in a quite way over here.
However, know that I'm here for you in 2007. Together we will get through this year. Together is a word that means all of us...your siblings, your children and their family, your friends, your colleagues, Flora, the caregivers at the center and all those God is sending your way this year. I give thanks for each of them and pray for all of us in this together.
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