Life on a Treadmill

For the past two weeks I have been back on a treadmill. Not virtual but real. For too long the self-care did not include much exercise…and I could feel the negative results. Amazing how quickly some good benefits are felt. I’m just going at 3.5 mph and for 30 minutes at a time. But I got in four workouts last week and already three times this week. Each session is less than two miles. But the heart is pumping stronger, the breathing is a bit easier, the sweat flows freely, and the mind gets creative. With all those benefits…why is it so hard to step on a treadmill?

My life has treadmill elements too. The benefits are subtler. And I do not have a choice. When I awaken each morning, the rituals of care giving are before me. Get the morning paper, start the coffee, and check the Alzheimer’s Message Board before Linda gets up. Then make sure she takes her medicine, prepare breakfast, write on the refrigerator whiteboard “Today is: Wednesday, December 21, 2005.” Follow that with a couple of activities of the day. Most of the time during the day, Linda will not remember to check the white board when she wonders what day it is. She will ask me. “Is today Friday?” “No, today is Wednesday.” Linda has a new question for me. She has been trying it out for about three weeks now. “Are you OK?” It must be a very important question for her. She asks me many times each day…never remembering that she has asked before. My answers are one of two types. “Yes, I am OK.” That keeps it simple and we move on. The other answer is similar. “Yes, I am OK. Are you OK?” She laughs and says, “Yes.” So I say, “Good, I am OK and you are OK so we both are OK!” We both laugh and move on. Later we will return to that question again. It is part of our daily treadmill. And the benefit is simple. I think Linda knows that she is OK as long as I am OK. So really she is asking me to help her know that she is OK. So I do…and together we are OK. This little treadmill of questions helps us be OK. My real treadmill helps me be OK so I can help Linda know she is OK.